Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
the raccoons are back...
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