So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
