Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
