I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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