He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize
