the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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