I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
