we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
