I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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