I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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