Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
