last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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