Small penises have feelings too.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
