i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
