I heard we made out
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
