it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
