She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize