so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
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He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
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he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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