her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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