The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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