Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
