I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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