Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
