I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
The beer is more important than you right now.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
