i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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