You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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