you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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