Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize