Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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