I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
