Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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