Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Porn is love you can see.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
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