Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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