Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
