I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize