i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
God, I missed his penis.
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