She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
