i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
