i dedicated my morning wood to you.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
