I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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