I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
God, I missed his penis.
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