Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
