Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
