alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
