Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
