I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
