FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
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