Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Do vagina's smell?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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