Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Randomize
