Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
