u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
