Ambien. No doubt about it.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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