You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
