you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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