You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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