Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
