Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
