Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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