Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize