1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
