lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
