Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
