What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
