we have officially lost it.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
